Dealing With Loss

“Grief is just love with no place to go”.

Today I received the sad news that three people I know had passed away. None of them were related and I wasn’t close to any of them but three precious lives were lost. Three families and three lots of loved ones will now commence their journey of grief, and my compassion is with all these people.

A 29 year old, a 35 year old and a 50 year old all cut down in the prime of their life and it’s a bloody stark reminder, that our time on earth is not all that long. That each moment is a gift and we should all endeavour to live the life that we want, regardless of what others think. We should do what makes us happy and be exactly where we want to be, because otherwise we miss out.

The shock, denial and pain of all those affected is something all of us have dealt with or will deal with but no two people suffer in the same way. Grief is such a process and there’s no timeframe for a grieving person. It’s not linear and whilst there are steps not everyone goes through the steps in that order and certain steps can repeat themselves. What is important is that people are allowed to grieve and that nobody dismisses their pain or places expectations on them as to how “they should” feel.

Loss and grief isn’t always associated with death of course- it comes in many forms and we need to remember that there should never be comparisons with loss and grief. We need to always show compassion and validate another’s feelings as important to them. Whilst some losses maybe more significant than others, the grief and loss one feels isn’t based on what another thinks is “more significant”. They feel how they feel and we need to hold space for that.

So whilst these three families will be feeling the most intensely painful emotions tonight, we can all reflect upon our own lives. We can all ensure we are living the lives we want to live. That we don’t leave things unsaid because the remorse of this is just another loss. That the way we live and who we share our lives with allows us the capacity to be at our happiest, our most authentic, our truest selves where we don’t have to hide any parts of who we are. Life is too short for regrets.

“Life is short, break the rules forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that put a smile on your face”.