When we are teenagers we cannot wait to be adults, so we can legally get into pubs and clubs and we believe this will bring us a whole host of freedoms. We travel through our 20’s and as we near 30, many panic a little and feel the need to be settled and have that list ticked off, you know the one?! Married, kids, house, career because that is what has been our conditioning. Now we are heading towards 40 and for many the sheer panic really peaks because when we are 20, 40 seems ridiculously old! Alas we hit our 40’s and travel through them, many of us still ensuring we follow the societal norms of how we should live our life. Before you know it we are 50 and for some this causes all sorts of dread.
For me I haven’t been overly bothered about age. If I could turn back time, would I? Possibly, to relive some magic moments but those moments will always be with me and life is about creating new amazing moments and memories. At 51 I feel more confident, more vibrant, more energised, more independent and more creative. I know what I want and I know the path to take to get there. As a woman I feel a good number of younger women face so many pressures to be a certain way and social media is probably a big part of that. Filters to make one look more appealing. The number of likes to validate their looks or popularity and it sadly all boils down to ego and lack of self worth. Then the rush to “find the one”, get married, buy your own place and have a family.
We all go through these things in one way or another and hopefully we learn and grow. I know some people worry about ageing but if you can let go of your ego, you can welcome getting older and even embrace it. Don’t get me wrong I do like to look after myself, mentally, physically and spiritually. I have always taken great care of my skin and my diet and exercise is far better now than it has been in a long time. I think the spiritual aspect is really what allows your growth and that has been my biggest change as I have gotten older.
I have no desire to compete with anyone and I have no desire to play games, or to chase anyone that doesn’t think I’m important enough to be in their life. My motto is if someone can’t see my value then I let them go. I’m unafraid to be alone and that’s a powerful thing. Insecurity is terrible and it drives people to hang onto things they should have let go of long ago and I am incredibly grateful that the need for validation is long gone. I don’t need anyone to make me feel whole and that is liberating.
So at 51 and having had two kids I may not have the smooth skin of a 30 year old or the tight body I had when I was younger but I can honestly say I am happy with my appearance. I have a beautiful heart and soul and I will always love and care too much and I’m ok with that. I continue to look after myself which in-turn makes me feel good about myself. I look back over the years with love and fondness because I have been blessed and the pain has been my catalyst for growth.
As you age embrace it, don’t hide away. Don’t let conditioning or societal pressures dictate how you should live! How you should dress. Who you should be in a relationship with. What job you should be doing. Don’t let shallow people judge you or the limited thinking conditioned people make you ever feel less, that’s their insecurity not yours! Be f*cking proud of who you are and when you look in the mirror see the beauty that looks back at you, after all beauty begins the moment you decide to be your true self.
“Of course I want to look my best. I want to feel strong and vibrant. But I know for sure that the pathway to your best life isn’t the route of denial. It’s owning EVERY moment. Staking a claim in right now. And with gratitude, embracing your age”.