I’ve lost a few beautiful and much loved pets in my life and today I lost my beautiful Dalmatian, River. I cannot express the pain and grief I’m feeling right now and the tears will not stop flowing.
I had to re-home River a few years ago when my husband and I separated, as I could not have him where I was living and it was one of the hardest things to do. I still remember the car trip to his new home and the overwhelming sadness I felt. It was an incredible loss to me at that time but it doesn’t compare to the loss I’m feeling right now.
He was so very loved in his new home with a couple of other dogs and a wonderful family. He got to roam round this huge property investigating and living his best life each and every day. And each and every day I missed him and even though I could never have given him the life he had, I had this guilt… a guilt which has just hit me full force with a tsunami of grief.
My boy was only 4 years old. I know it doesn’t compare to the loss of a human loved one but right here, right now, my pain is inconsolable. My tears are unrelenting. My sadness is palpable. My loss is as raw as it was the day I re-homed him. I have this hurt inside my heart but I also have the beautiful memories of a much loved pet.
River was the class clown. He was cheeky, a little bit naughty, full of life and so incredibly loveable. When the litter arrived we chose him. He had this light in him, like he was always smiling and you couldn’t help but smile when you saw him. He was always up for an adventure and at one of the most difficult times in my life he was my best bud. He licked many a tear stained cheek and showed me love when I really didn’t feel very loveable. We would go on long walks at all hours of the day and night and when I felt nobody else was listening to what was in my head, I knew he was. For a while there he was my rock.
River’s other family were amazing people and they feel his loss today as hard as I do. I am so very grateful of the home and life they were able to provide when I no longer could and how happy he was. River was blessed to have two families that loved him and we were all blessed to have him in our life, even if just for a moment.
I say goodbye to my boy now, as my grieving words spill out here and my anguished tears have now soaked through the top of my jumper. My head is pounding, my eyes are swollen but most of all my soul is sad. Tonight I cry and find comfort in how much he was loved and tomorrow I remember, I remember how lucky I was to have those moments and what he taught me about life.
Thankyou for bringing us such joy and love. Forever in my heart.