As many of you may know, we have three brains. Our head brain, heart brain and gut brain. What some people may not know is for us to make the best decisions for ourselves and be truly happy, all three brains need to be in alignment.
So what do our three brains do? What are they responsible for?
- Head- creativity- I think
- Heart- compassion- I feel
- Gut- courage- I act
Think of our three brains as a three legged stool. If one is off balance, it throws the whole system off balance.
As humans we don’t spend enough time listening to our three brains and we oftentimes ignore one or two of them, which ultimately affects our life. When we are trying to make decisions in life, especially decisions that are going to impact our happiness, we need to quiet ourselves. We need to stop and listen and many times we will discover that our three brains are not actually in alignment and this could be causing us uncertainty, anxiety, unhappiness, confusion and the list goes on.
Some questions to ask ourselves in decision making and in life are:
- What does my heart truly want? If I remove the head and the gut, where does my heart lead?
- What path would my gut have me follow? Our gut is our intuition and we do not listen to this nearly enough.
- In my minds eye, what do I envision for my future? Our logical brain.
Now it’s common that when you do this and you are really honest to yourself, you will find that all three, or two out of the three differ. When this happens what do you do? How do you align them? It’s a tricky question and one that took me a long time to answer but I believe you follow your gut, your intuition because deep down in your soul, you always know what you really want. Sometimes we just don’t want to see it, because sometimes it’s going to throw you out of your comfort zone and turn your life upside down.
I have reflected a lot about this and when I look back at my marriage, I can clearly see what I was doing. For the longest time I was relying on my head brain. My heart was confused and I had this gnawing in my gut that I kept dismissing. I had creeping anxiety. I developed a frozen shoulder and I was suffering a general malaise.
Why was I listening to my head brain to the detriment of my heart and gut? Simple really it was the logical brain and listening to my heart and gut meant big changes. My head was telling me:
- stay in your comfort zone. It’s what you know and stepping outside is terrifying.
- you love and care for your husband, he’s your friend and father of your kids and you’ve been with him for years and built a home and a life. It doesn’t matter that you no longer love him romantically or in the way a couple should.
- if you leave you will forever change the family dynamic. You might lose some family and friends.
- your financial position will be completely different and in many ways you will need to start again.
- you’ve never been alone and done everything for yourself. What if you struggle?
These types of questions and thoughts went through my head, over and over again. Ruminating and exhausting. And whilst I kept listening to my head, my heart and gut were being drowned out and I was falling further and further out of alignment. But as with life these things have a way of bubbling inside and eventually screaming at us to listen, even if that means sitting us on our ass, physically unwell or a continued anxiety and inability to feel happiness from within. A need to always search for some kind of happiness.
One day I woke up and I started listening. There’s an analogy I love from the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy sets off down the yellow brick road, on a journey to find her way home. Along the way she meets Tin Man who needs a heart. She meets Scarecrow who needs a brain. And she meets the Lion who needs courage. They eventually stumble upon Oz and meet the wizard and Dorothy learns she only has to tap her ruby red slippers three times to return home. You see the power was always within her, she just needed to tap into it.
So next time you feel torn, confused or uncertain start listening. Don’t let your head drown your heart and gut out- especially your gut because the answers are deep within you. When anxiety is simmering within you, when you repeatedly get ill with colds and gut health issues, or you are suffering aches and pains within your body.
Stop and listen because you are not in alignment.
Lastly when you feel the need to do things, change things, buy things, distract yourself, dismiss your feelings, feel unmotivated or question whether this is the best life for you.
Stop and listen because you are not in alignment.
When you follow your heart, listen to your gut and use your head- everything improves. Your health, wellbeing and your life. A few years ago I did follow my heart and listen to my gut, rather than just my head and it sent me on a whirlwind. A new life and I had a shitload of obstacles, happiness and pain along the way but the journey has taught me so much and allowed me to heal things, I never knew I needed to heal.
My head tells me I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I feel in my heart I’m right where I am and doing what I should be doing. And my gut, my intuition is at peace because I had the courage to finally get here.
“When you trust your gut, follow your heart and use your head, magic happens”