Ho’ oponopono

“I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws. I am fearless because I’ve learnt to recognise fake from real. I am wise because I have learnt from my mistakes. I am a lover because I have felt pain and I can laugh because I know sadness”.

The Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian prayer-which comprises of 4 short phrases:

  • I’m sorry
  • Please forgive me
  • Thank you
  • I love you

It is said to be a simple and effective way to begin the healing of relationships, whilst at the same time healing ourselves and spreading love and harmony in a world that very much needs it right now.

The philosophy behind the practise is that we are each responsible for what shows up in our reality– to the extent that we own our feelings and our experiences- so even if someone hurts us, causes us pain or has wronged us- we are the one’s saying I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

The foundation of this practise is unity. An unbreakable bond connects you to those you have shared love with-even after separation. Loving each other and loving yourself is kind of the same thing. The practise of ho’oponopono helps you understand and heal experiences in your life that you’ve been affected by.

I stumbled upon this several months ago, on my journey of healing. At first I did through a guided meditation and then I made it part of my day, by reciting repeatedly whilst showering. Interestingly, the first couple of times I did this I became incredibly emotional and found myself sobbing. It’s truly a beautiful idea that putting these words out there- directed at those that have hurt you- somehow brings that healing within.

It is said that each child at birth has a bowl of perfect light. If he tends to his light with kindness, authenticity, care, gratitude, honesty, respect and love, his light will grow in strength. However, if he becomes envious, jealous, unkind, disrespectful, dishonest, inauthentic, manipulative and ungrateful– he drops a stone into his bowl of light and the light will go out. A stone does not grow, nor does it move. If at anytime he wants to change, all he needs to do is speak his truth , genuinely apologise for his wrong doings and behave authentically, honestly with genuine love and kindness and his bowl will turn upside down- the stones fall away and the light will grow once more.

The story reflects the human journey and choices. We can choose to carry old hurts and be in pain “Pilikia” or we can choose “Pono” which is to journey in excellence. Pono and Pilikia cannot reside inside of us at the same time. Secrets and being authentic cannot reside inside of us at the same time. Just as you cannot by-pass the truth and your darkness should you ever wish to heal, grow and keep the light shining.

When you have worked hard and deeply on yourself and you have had the courage to take your mask off and be honest with yourself and those in your life- you begin true healing. You begin to understand your wounds and your shadows and start down the path of raw emotion and you commence the work on the body, where this emotion and energy is held. Remembering you must go through it all, if you are to ever fully heal and grow.

Next some of us face the realisation that we need to move past never receiving a real apology and that is where the gift of these words can support us in healing this piece and letting it go. Closure can be a very difficult thing, particularly when feelings are raw and you hold love in your heart. For me I have found the love and grace in these words both highly emotional and beautifully soothing. Putting it out into the universe gives me comfort that the energy of these words is coming back to me from those who have not reached that stage of their journey and I have accepted, that is enough.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

“Don’t try to understand everything, sometimes it is not meant to be understood, just accepted”.

Published by Michelle

After a long marriage, 2 children (now grown), a separation and embarking on a brand new life, I have realised life is always a journey. I have made mistakes, I have hurt and been hurt, I have loved and I have lost and at times I completely lost myself and forgot the Queen that I am. As women we are the nurturer, the caregiver but sometimes we underestimate the Goddess within us and my journey has made me realise that when our crown is crooked, we need to adjust it ourselves and remember the Queens that we are! This will be a blog about what I have learnt, what I am continuing to learn and how we can help each other. I will talk about all things love and life and at times this will be controversial but life and love is never black and white but varying shades of grey. We live in a judgemental society and so many of us live our lives according to the expectations of others, rather than doing or being what truly makes us happy. I hope you join me on my journey and on my quest to find that Inner Goddess and we can learn from each other and we can discuss the judgements and societal expectations that hold so many of us back. It's time to seek our inner happiness!!

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