The Scourge of Social Media-When did it become so f*cked up

“The good thing about social media is it gives everything a voice. The bad thing about social media is it gives everything a voice”- Brian Solis

I have a confession to make, social media drew me in, hook, line and sinker. I was like a moth to a flame scrolling mindlessly. Undoubtedly one of millions, drawn into the web.

We see the overly happy faces of people we know peering at us, from some foreign destination. In some new fancy house. With perfect partners, in perfect relationships. With their tightly toned beach bodies and their new swimwear; gym-wear; party wear. It’s a potent mix, driven by the desire to present our best selves, at all costs. In a society that glamourises toxicity. That glamourises fake. The glamourises anything but true authenticity.

Of course there is genuine happiness in some of those posts. And I love seeing exotic places and the joy travel brings. The sad thing is most people are too afraid to show any vulnerability. To show any of life’s battles because we have become so accustomed to hide that part of ourselves, and show only our highlight reels. Only the positive and good stuff. Those highlight reels float around in a murky pool of comparison. Encouraging people to keep up with each other. Fear of missing out. Fear of being left behind. Our lives front and centre for everyone to see, like never before.

And then without any invitation, the “influencers” and “coaches” slid onto the stage, like Tom Cruise in Risky Business. They all commanded attention. They all had a voice. They all had an opinion. And most of them had something to sell. There are a small minority with great content, who actually have training, experience and deep knowledge in what they speak of. The majority I’ve come across- are the scourge of social media.

They fill up our feeds with their sponsored posts. Pervasive. Invasive. Toxic.

Preying on the insecure. The desperate. Reminding them that without a partner they are worthless. Reiterating that their negative thoughts and feelings are not accepted in this world-are not normal. Belittling those who have a different opinion. Shaming others for expressing human emotion. Judging those who dare to be happy, outside of societies conditioning. Selling their love packages. Those change your mindset courses. Those spiritual bypassing, heal yourself in just weeks bundles. Those get rich quick schemes. Those lose weight, get fit, sculpt a better body in time for the weekend posts. Manipulating. Triggering. One insecurity at a time. One hook at a time. In a f*cked up game that they only ever win.

These one’s I speak of are masters. They are masters at playing people. Telling them what they want to hear. Validating insecurities, enough to drag them in, like a magnet. Promising them love. Promising them a fairytale. Promising them happiness. Promising them positive mindsets. Promising them their life will change- at a cost. Oh yes there’s always a price. And sometimes that price costs you far more than your hard earned dollars. Sometimes that price is a detrimental cost to your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual health.

The scourge of social media. Platforms given to people who have no place on a platform. Given to people who spew their toxicity around like confetti. Dangerous and sometimes hateful words, ideas and advice based on their own beliefs and opinions, shouted out to the world like it comes from a place of expertise. Instead of a place of their own insecurities, ego and greed. Videos. Posts. Lives. Reeling you in, insidiously. Book a free call. A free call to an aggressive sales pitch, where one is left believing the only way to these elusive things, is to sign up.

How do you tell the difference between an authentic, trained coach and an inauthentic, untrained coach? An authentic coach will not promise you anything, instead they will commit to work with you-together. They will never belittle you, or judge you. They will not dismiss well established research. They will be transparent on their website about their training and their costings. Their charges will correlate with their level of training and experience. They will not push their opinions and beliefs onto you. They will not step outside their expertise. However, they often make ego driven comments like “I’ve helped thousands of clients”- in my research these comments are usually deceitful. If a coach had thousands of clients, they would not be hard selling on social media.

Like any quick fix program, or any promises made by some self appointed “guru”, or “expert”, the client will be left floundering. Maybe there’s a temporary fix, or a placebo high, but there’s never longterm fixes.

In a society that is so conditioned, to live a certain way. Dismiss how we truly feel. Believe in love as a fairytale, at all costs. Value our self worth based on what we own and how much we earn. Compare ourselves to other’s highlight reels. Be judged for our age; our health; our relationship status; what we wear and how we look. Is it any wonder these toxic mouths with a platform, continue to seep like pus out of an infected wound?

Preying, preying, preying. Telling us what we need. What we want. What we should do. How we should live. How we should love. Their beliefs and opinions overshadowing our own. Never once listening, never once actually listening to what it is we actually say we want. Yet some people who lack trust and belief in themselves, blindly follow and pay these people money. Time and time again people get burnt. They pay money, only to realise their life is no different-the short term improvements quickly dissipating because no real work has been done.

Until we become self aware enough and willing to work on our insecurities and beliefs, this scourge will continue. Until we become more discerning to who we listen to. Who we take advice from and trust ourselves enough to know what’s best for us, this scourge will continue. Until we stop buying into the toxic bullsh*t, and valuing the things we are told to value, instead of what’s important to us- the scourge will continue. Until we stop giving these voices a platform the scourge will continue.

Social media can be good, even great, if we don’t get too invested in it. Otherwise it has the potential to destroy a whole generations ability to be truly happy, as we constantly compare our lives and think someone, everyone has it better than us. Leaving us to question are we ever good enough. And if that isn’t enough… the “coaches”, the “influencers” of social media will subliminally remind you at every opportunity that you indeed, are not good enough, but they can make you better.

Don’t fall for the scourge of social media. The price, will always be too high. Instead trust and believe in yourself, and understand the energy you put out, will be the energy you receive. Someone else’s opinion is not going help you change your life- only you can do that.

Published by Michelle

After a long marriage, 2 children (now grown), a separation and embarking on a brand new life, I have realised life is always a journey. I have made mistakes, I have hurt and been hurt, I have loved and I have lost and at times I completely lost myself and forgot the Queen that I am. As women we are the nurturer, the caregiver but sometimes we underestimate the Goddess within us and my journey has made me realise that when our crown is crooked, we need to adjust it ourselves and remember the Queens that we are! This will be a blog about what I have learnt, what I am continuing to learn and how we can help each other. I will talk about all things love and life and at times this will be controversial but life and love is never black and white but varying shades of grey. We live in a judgemental society and so many of us live our lives according to the expectations of others, rather than doing or being what truly makes us happy. I hope you join me on my journey and on my quest to find that Inner Goddess and we can learn from each other and we can discuss the judgements and societal expectations that hold so many of us back. It's time to seek our inner happiness!!

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