To all that need this right now. Let your pain be the catalyst for change and growth.
I know you sometimes struggle. Listening to the voice inside your head, which is not always kind. Believing you are less than what and who you are. Taking on the negative opinions of others but forgetting the positive one’s. Forgetting to believe in yourself.
Getting caught up on your appearance. Allowing others to judge you solely based on how you look and turning judgement on yourself. We occupy a physical body but our physicality is NOT who we are. If you must judge yourself, judge your heart and soul. The person you are on the inside. How you love and how you care. How you help people. How you make other’s laugh. There are thousands of physically attractive people in this world with ugly hearts and souls.
You have been through a lot. Maybe illness has taken its toll on your physical body, you have been mentally tormented, you have lost someone you loved. You have had to fight just to get out of bed some days. There were times when you really thought you could no longer go on. The despair spiralling out of control. Your mind, your body and your spirit splintering. The grief ripping you apart.
On your good days you cry and on your bad days you feel broken, gutted, anguished. The pain stabbing through your heart and you beg for the hurt to stop. For it to stop long enough for you to see the light at the end of that f*cking tunnel. You pray for your thoughts to slow down, so you can catch your breath. But you are NOT your pain or your illness or grief. You are human. These things they have knocked you down, at times flattening you but they are not WHO you are.
Maybe you have been taken for granted. Not been appreciated for all that you are and all that you have done. Maybe you have been disrespected. Some have recognised the beautiful and thoughtful heart that you have. Your generosity and your kindness. They took what they needed from you, discarding what they didn’t like trash. Maybe they lied to you or even manipulated you. They made you question your self-worth. They felt your energy and they wanted to tap into that magic. Don’t let these people change the way you care or the way you love. Don’t let them harden your softness. The way they behave is a reflection of them NOT you.
You have no doubt made mistakes. Small ones and not so small ones. Your ego has sometimes caused you to behave in ways you are not proud of. You have followed your heart at times to the detriment of yourself and you have left yourself wide f*cking open to chaos, heartbreak and loss on a level you thought you could never recover from.
Maybe there was even deceit or broken trust. You stayed somewhere far longer than you should have. Hurting others and yourself. You accepted the lies of another because you were too scared to face what was really happening. Too scared to leave your comfort zone. Too scared of others judgement. Too scared to speak your truth. The lies you tell yourself are the most damaging of all. But you are NOT the sum of your mistakes. And you are certainly NOT the sum of someone else’s mistakes.
You have allowed yourself to feel resentful and bitter. Letting the anger simmer in you until it boils over putridly in a way that nearly destroys your essence. Maybe you can’t allow yourself to forgive. To let go and move on with peace and grace. You hang onto every terrible thing that has happened to you. Every awful f*cking thing that has been done to you. Every mistake you have made. You let the behaviour of others and your ego driven self preservation DEFINE you.
Then comes that tower moment. That fork in the road and YOU need to choose which way to go. Do you move forward with all the negative emotion or do you take the path of self love and enlightenment? Resentment and bitterness will hurt only you, it will kill your f*cking spirit. Forgive for you, NOT for anyone else. Forgive so you can move on with love in your heart and gratitude for the lessons. Forgive and understand that anyone who has hurt you has their own pain, their own demons and they will need to make peace with themselves. Let. It. Go.
Love the beautiful being that you are. Look your challenges and pain straight in the eye. Use the strength, the lessons and resilience you have learnt to confront any negativity on your path. Be patient with yourself, grieve your losses and understand the journey you are on. Hold the good memories and the moments deep within your heart. You are in control of you, how you react and you always have a choice.
Be completely honest with yourself. You know. You always know what is best for your heart and soul. If you cannot be true to yourself, you will never be true to anyone else. If you cannot forgive and let go, be it a person, an illness, a terrible life event you will forever be chained to a fence of bitterness, resentment, grief and anger. You deserve amazing, so you need to consciously choose amazing. It’s not f*cking easy when you feel like you are smashed in a million pieces but what we think we become. You get to write your story, make it beautifully epic. Make it a masterpiece.
You are HER. My daughter is HER. My mother is HER. My friend is HER. I am HER.