Why I Won’t Look for Someone

We have all heard the term “it’s time to get back on the horse”! What is it about being single, that has family and friends, on some kind of hunting expedition? “are you going to go on a dating website? Are you going to say yes to the lifeguard that asked you to go running with him? Accept the drink from the cute guy that keeps offering?”

No, no and no! Part of me is not ready and the other part of me believes when it’s the right time and the right person, I will know. Yes divine timing. Synchronicity. Serendipity and all that. Whatever is meant to happen will. Whomever is meant to be in my life, will be. No searching. No force. It will just be. If I’m happy and whole and I am grateful for what I have and what is to come, I will attract the right people into my life, when it’s supposed to happen. How it’s supposed to happen.

Here’s the thing. There is a difference in being lonely and being alone. You can be lonely in a house full of people! I am alone but I am not lonely. I have an amazing family and circle of friends. I have all my passions and interests that I’m pursuing. I have a pretty good sense of humour and laugh a lot. I really do enjoy the simple things in life. Being out in the sun. Walking along the beach. Meditating and yoga. Watching the surfers. Being in nature. Reading. Writing. Talking to friends. Petting dogs along the way. Singing and dancing around my apartment. Spending time with those I care about and just doing life authentically and passionately.

I have maintained for a long time, that I will never settle. I’d much rather be alone than be with someone who does not ignite my fire. Does not share my zest for life. Or my passion to grow and learn. I would rather be alone than be surrounded by people who don’t match my energy or are fake. I’m sure I could go on dates quite easily or talk to people online but neither of those things interest me in the least. Casual is just something I’m NOT interested in.

Being alone has been an incredible experience. Learning. Reflection. Growth. Discovering what really gives me purpose. It’s been quite the journey. When someone does enter my life, I want them to have experienced their own journey of growth. I want them to be whole. I believe you know fairly quickly if someone is meant to be in your life. You feel the energy. It may seem unexplainable and most often happens when you least expect it and can knock you fair on your ass. It’s like your soul knows something the rest of you can’t yet understand. You can’t look for that. It just happens, as it is meant too.

I found this quote “Be a classy woman, with a bit of hood and a lot of universe in you”. I showed my friend and they said “yes that’s you but you have a bit too much universe”!! I probably have but that’s who I am. I have found spirituality grounds me. Makes me feel so much more at peace. I am far more present. I’m also determined. Passionate. Speak from the heart. Unafraid to be challenged. Unafraid to go after what I want. And what I want is NOT to look for someone!

Some people love the online thing. Some love to go on regular dates. Some like casual flings. No judgement from me and I respect everyone’s choices as they need to do what they feel is best for them. For me, however, I’m in no rush. I’m fulfilled and whole just as I am. So absolutely no dating sites for me. The lifeguard can find someone else to run with. And the cute guy can offer his drinks to another! Family and friends, I love you endlessly but I’m all good and the horse is doing just fine without me.

“Serendipity- the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something truly wonderful, while not looking for anything!”

Published by Michelle

After a long marriage, 2 children (now grown), a separation and embarking on a brand new life, I have realised life is always a journey. I have made mistakes, I have hurt and been hurt, I have loved and I have lost and at times I completely lost myself and forgot the Queen that I am. As women we are the nurturer, the caregiver but sometimes we underestimate the Goddess within us and my journey has made me realise that when our crown is crooked, we need to adjust it ourselves and remember the Queens that we are! This will be a blog about what I have learnt, what I am continuing to learn and how we can help each other. I will talk about all things love and life and at times this will be controversial but life and love is never black and white but varying shades of grey. We live in a judgemental society and so many of us live our lives according to the expectations of others, rather than doing or being what truly makes us happy. I hope you join me on my journey and on my quest to find that Inner Goddess and we can learn from each other and we can discuss the judgements and societal expectations that hold so many of us back. It's time to seek our inner happiness!!

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