Warning-This is a very raw and bold piece and some may find it a little confronting. An extract from a larger piece of writing I have been asked to do. I am not referring to casual sex but rather deep, committed connections. And for those who are physically healthy and able bodied. It is my perspective as a woman and it is meant to provoke thoughts and feelings and perhaps question your own wants and desires. If you are offended by reading about sex in such an open way and the use of some colourful language, please stop reading now!
Mostly we want to make love but sometimes we want to f*ck and other times we want a combination of both and they can be equally as intimate and cherished.
We are sexual creatures. We were born from sex and we spend a good part of our lives wrapped up in the details of it. We are built for touch, for love and for those sensual moments that ruin us forever. Sex is as limitless as our lover and with the right person, it is not only infinite- it’s unforgettable. Sex is one of the most powerful acts that can bring us back into the present and that present is where we feel most alive. Sex truly is the gage for how healthy our romantic relationship is. I am talking about that deep connection, the type of relationship that changes us forever.
Heart F*cking– Amazing sex requires the same ingredients as a healthy relationship. To be able to be heart f*cked requires opening ourselves up to another. In order to let someone else into our hearts, we need to be able to trust they will not hurt us. We trust with our inner most thoughts and feelings including all our vulnerabilities, quirks, our humour, sarcasm and weirdness that most of the world don’t see.
A woman trusting her partner is one of the greatest gifts she can give him. She trusts him to not only try new things together but is also willing to let him take over her body. To be open to his touch and let him lead her. We make the decision to open ourselves completely to our partner, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Mind F*cking– One saying we often hear is we should marry our best friend, which I do agree with BUT only if that best friend is someone who makes our heart race and makes our blood run red hot. Only a best friend who we share incredible passion, chemistry and energy with can ever be capable of mind f*cking us. It almost momentarily blinds us this intensity, this desire that gets to a point of no return.
I think too often not only do people underestimate the importance of sex (and again I refer to those who are physically healthy and able bodied) but they also underestimate the importance of passion, of chemistry and the undeniable electricity needed for amazing sex. To be able to be mind f*cked means to meet each other mentally and to challenge and inspire one another. This is the ultimate level of romantic consciousness. But to achieve this we need to be willing to be honest with ourselves about our needs, wants and desires and what we expect from each other.
When we are truly passionate about our partner, it’s not only to desire their body, their lips, their eyes and the smell of their skin but to also desire their minds, their intelligence, their humour, that intimacy that can only be shared between those who have a bond, a spiritual connection. The way they can create fire in our souls by just one look and the electricity dancing in our minds. You feel it in every core of your being and if your eyes connect it’s game, set and match. The trick isn’t to find someone that just makes your blood rush while you are skin to skin but to find that person who makes you breathless just by them walking into a room. Whose very being arouses you, even if just the thought of them. The one you struggle to keep your hands off and vice versa. Your match.
Soul F*cking– Every fear, every mistake and every heartache is in preparation for the chance to be soul f*cked into oblivion. Opening our soul to another is the most elusive and desirable type of connection. The reality is, even if we’ve opened our hearts and minds to someone, not everyone can be that soulmate or twin flame who can f*ck our souls. We can’t force something that just isn’t there. It’s not just opening ourselves up to another individual but it’s inviting them inside, to let them wander around in the deepest parts of our hearts and souls and letting them colour messily outside the lines of our love.
It believes in magic when people think we are are crazy for it. Sometimes the very best things are unexplainable. Sometimes the universe conspires for people to be together- serendipity. When two souls come together that recognise something inside one another, a connection is forged that cannot be broken. It’s timeless and doesn’t abide by any rules. Souls aren’t aware of what they should or shouldn’t be doing, they don’t believe in timelines or what society says about love. They are unconventional and when we meet someone whom our souls recognise- all bets are off. Anybody can have sex but when it touches your soul it’s absolutely mind blowing. A Chinese proverb says “an invisible thread connects those souls that are destined, despite the time, the place and the circumstances. The thread can be tightened or tangled, but it can never be broken.”
To soul f*ck is to be open, honest, raw and utterly perfectly imperfect. To connect on such a deep level you completely surrender yourselves and the two become one. A divine connection but possibly one that not everyone is lucky enough to experience. Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
Sex and physical intimacy is the fire of life and we all deserve to make exquisite love and be exquisitely f*cked senseless in every way possible and as often as possible with someone you are deeply connected to. Touch her gently, hold her tenderly, kiss her passionately, undress her slowly, f*ck her fervidly and devotedly and love her endlessly with your mind, heart and soul.
Sex is deeper than a few inches of penetration. It’s a mental thing. A soul dance. Make the mind lose it and the body will most certainly follow. Sometimes if you are truly lucky you will find and experience that magic and it will likely ruin you forever in a way everyone should be ruined.