You are not going anywhere yet mum!

What a massive couple of days for my family and I. My mum who has had ill health for many years suffered a pretty bad heart attack, they suspect, as the initial testing is showing her heart is in significant distress. Her kidneys already severely damaged were showing the first signs of failure and to top it off she has pneumonia! When the ambulance was called she was confused and somewhat incoherent and I can only imagine the panic my dad felt. With myself 2 hours away and my brother 5 hours away he was dealing with this alone, until I arrived.

Back and forth from the hospital and a change in hospitals has been draining, however, I have remained positive and asked everyone to send positive energy and vibes. I took myself for a walk to the beach yesterday for a few moments of alone time and tears and even though the emotions are a little high I have not waivured from my positivity. I still believe everything happens for a reason and as difficult as this currently is, it’s an opportunity for mum to get a thorough health overview and potentially be better after it.

Today we met the specialist coronary team looking after her and they are incredibly impressive. Clear, concise with short term and long term plans and a complete overhaul of the ridiculous amount and concoction of medication mum has been put on over the years and I could not be more pleased with this. I have had a real issue with all this medication and as I discovered today much of it is working against each other and also causing more damage than good. The problem is the weaning off and the potentially serious side effects but she’s in the best place!

I myself have been balancing the hospital visits and meetings with the various medical teams, ensuring dad is ok emotionally, keeping everyone up to date and also getting some work done. Whilst a little exhausted dad and I are in surprisingly good spirits because we know she’s being looked after well and we may finally be able to get this medication situation sorted. Mum herself is looking brighter and is definitely more coherent and thankfully the pneumonia is improving.

I am really very grateful for the amazing people in my life that have checked in on me regularly, it has made such a difference and kept my vibe high. You hear all the stories about poor hospital care or poor medical treatment etc but in this case everything has been top notch thus far and it has certainly made our life easier and reduced our concerns. Having to liase with so many medical teams has been hectic but I’m thankful at the level of expertise and care mum is getting. Including the 2 doctors dressed as clowns today that came to visit and entertained us all.

It’s going to be a long haul but I’m just relieved that currently mum is stable and a few of her vitals have improved. Now we just continue to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. We have faith and trust and we keep it all positive and we never lose sight of what is important. I realised as I drove up the coast to mum and dads that I did not tell them enough that I appreciate and love them. I realised that even though my kids are busy adults with their own lives they love me more than I will probably ever know and have been as concerned about me and their grandfather as much as their very ill grandma. And my friends well, what can I say, I am truly blessed.

This has made me give more thought to my goals and ensure I am on track and to remain on track. For about the 10th time in the past few years this has highlighted my strength and my regained spirituality and the happiness I feel when I’m giving back. Yes I won’t deny I’m a little emotional and feeling vulnerable but that’s ok afterall I am real and human but I also know deep within my soul that everything will be ok and will continue to ask everyone to send their positive energy, vibes and love. So when you finish reading this please send us your good thoughts and know that we are grateful for all the love and light.

There are four things in life that will change you. Love, music, art and loss. The first three will keep you wild and full of passion. Let the last one make you brave.

Published by Shell

After a long marriage, 2 children (now grown), a separation and embarking on a brand new life, I have realised life is always a journey. I have made mistakes, I have hurt and been hurt, I have loved and I have lost and at times I completely lost myself and forgot the Queen that I am. As women we are the nurturer, the caregiver but sometimes we underestimate the Goddess within us and my journey has made me realise that when our crown is crooked, we need to adjust it ourselves and remember the Queens that we are! This will be a blog about what I have learnt, what I am continuing to learn and how we can help each other. I will talk about all things love and life and at times this will be controversial but life and love is never black and white but varying shades of grey. We live in a judgemental society and so many of us live our lives according to the expectations of others, rather than doing or being what truly makes us happy. I hope you join me on my journey and on my quest to find that Inner Goddess and we can learn from each other and we can discuss the judgements and societal expectations that hold so many of us back. It's time to seek our inner happiness!!

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