I have a bit of a potential situation in the coming weeks. My mate will be making his big move interstate and I’m helping with this move, however, we are hitting one considerable road-block- COVID! The borders are still closed here in Australia so the road-trip and move could be a slight problem. Not one to be deterred from such issues when it involves an adventure, I have been giving this a lot of thought and have a variety of solutions, that given enough focus will see me a) getting over the border b) have me sitting in isolation for 2 weeks on the border or c) have me arrested.
As riveting as I’m sure it would be staying somewhere close to the border holed up in some room awaiting to see if I develop COVID symptoms, this is not how I envision spending my holidays. Therefore sitting nervously in the passenger seat hoping they just wave us through is not really an option. Being somewhat creative I have considered what Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) would do in Mission Impossible and the ideas have been pouring out. The fact I have been working out and am fit from our weekly TikToks just boosts my confidence to a whole new level.
The simple answer would be to hide myself under a pile of stuff in the boot, but really aside from the fact I could potentially suffocate, we are better than that! One thought bubble is to wait until nightfall and with or without a Ninja ensemble, I commando style crawl across the border. It’s been a while since I have been over the border so hoping there are some trees and a bit of a surrounding bush, otherwise I’ll have to lay in the middle of the road and attach myself to the underbelly of a truck as it passes over me, in which case I will definitely need a Ninja outfit. For those of you thinking I will be dressed like Leonardo the Ninja turtle, let’s clear that up right now, I’ll be dressed all in black like a real Ninja.
Alternatively being far more Ethan like, I could take to the waters or the skies. On my recent Thailand trip I did a spot of kayaking and I think I mastered the technique. How hard can it be kayaking a few kilometres between states? I did think about a nice catamaran but concerned that would draw too much attention. Now I have never been a fan of jumping out of a plane, however, if it gets me over the border I’ll do it. Many years ago in Bali I did parasailing so in my mind there are similarities and as long as I remember to pull the string all will be ok. If there’s a chance to hot air balloon over this would be my preferred choice as I could float over whilst consuming wine and crackers, so probably should look into that.
I do have a last resort and whilst it could be a painful and frightening experience, there would probably be a few contenders line up to help me with this one. Imagine if you will a human cannonball. A drastic measure I know but if all else fails this could be my only alternative. I would climb in and someone would light it and send me on my way, flying over the border with grace and elegance, as only I can. A pre-auction would be held for the chance to be the lucky recipient to light that baby up, all funds raised going to a charity of my choice.
In all seriousness though the borders remaining closed will cause a few hiccups but people’s health is the most important thing. Hopefully they will be open by then and I will not be forced to actually follow through on one of these ideas! My mate will be reading this thinking “wow look what she would go through for me” and I’d like to point out that well, that’s not entirely accurate! You are moving to a tropical place, with a pool, where I can meditate and do yoga on the beach of a morning, swim in the ocean or the pool during the day, eat a never-ending supply of seafood and hang from the rafters and table dance in some bar that you mentioned at night, so yeah shoot me out that cannonball friend! Fact of the matter is I’m risking my life visiting you anyway between the crocs, the killer jellyfish and the cyclones so I may as well live on the edge getting there.
Sidenote: I wouldn’t really disobey the border laws, unless I really have to……